She gets four years of free college and all I got was this lousy sticker.
Yes, I am angry. Once again, I miss out on the freebies.
I set out Tuesday morning for Ridgeway Fire Hall, a pleasant enough 25-minute drive, despite the detour.
The bridge is out on Route 104 and when you live in the sticks, a detour can last for miles, as this one did.
I showed up on time and pulled into the parking lot. About 50 cars were already there.
An attendant greeted me and escorted me to the building.
“Is this where I get my free beer?” I asked.
“Haha. No. I’m pretty sure you can’t drink inside.”
That’s not quite what I meant, but I kept my mouth shut.
This was my second shot. A few weeks back, I made the decision in haste and set up an appointment for my first shot.
It was inevitable that I would have to be vaccinated, no matter that I wasn’t quite ready for it.
Trust no one. That, and I hate needles.
I decided to heed the words of John Kennedy. Ask not ... and all that.
This was my service to my country.
Anyway, my first appointment was for 10:30 and at noon my phone rang. It was an outside number.
I didn’t answer, figuring it was something to do with my auto warranty.
Then it rang again. Same number.
Huh? Maybe I should answer, which I did.
It was a woman who asked if I was still planning on getting my shot.
“Oh no!” I said, realizing that I had totally forgotten about the appointment. “I am so sorry.”
“That’s OK, she said. “We’ll wait.”
The clinic was supposed to close at noon and by now it was five past.
“I’m about 20 minutes away. Is that OK?”
“Of course. We’ll be here.”
I felt bad, but hopped in the car and took off.
I arrived much later than expected because of the aforementioned detour.
The lot was nearly empty and the only people inside were the volunteers, who were waiting patiently for their lone patient.
It went well. I tried leaving 13 minutes after the shot, but a rather large man loomed over me and looked at my Post-It note.
“Nope. You have two minutes,” he said, gesturing for me to sit back down.
I had no ill effects from the first shot, other than a sore arm and neck and I was relieved once I realized that I would survive.
My second shot came at 9:45 a.m. Tuesday.
At 9:45 a.m. Wednesday I was still in bed with a fever of 101.
No wonder they are giving out prizes to encourage people to get vaccinated, I thought.
As I write this Friday, I still have some lingering effects, but for the most part, I feel fine.
I’m pretty certain I’m not going to die from the vaccine.
Still, I did do some experiments on myself.
No. A magnet did not stick to my arm. I did not set off the metal detector at the court house.
Bill Gates has no idea where I am right now.
Sorry conspiracy theorists, but I’m 99.9 percent sure I do not have a microchip in my arm.
Even if I do, the sense of freedom I have walking into a store without a mask is, well, liberating.
I am still upset, though.
I did not get a coupon for free beer.
Cuomo is raffling off free tuition, room and board for four-year colleges.
CVS stores are offering tropical vacations and Super Bowl tickets.
On Friday, I read that an Ohio woman won $1 million for getting the vaccine!
And California announced it was giving out $1.5 million to 10 Californians who get vaccinated.
Throughout the country this is happening. They are bribing people to get the shot.
And all I got was a lousy little yellow sticker.
I should have held out. Who knows? Maybe I would have gotten a free car if I had waited another month.
I am never listening to John Kennedy again.
Scott DeSmit is a general assignment reporter for The Daily News. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org